Must A Wannabe Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting Me for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?